4 Strategies to Use When Sticking with Your Health Goals Gets Tough

health goals, new year's resolutions, health goals for the new year, learning to chart, learning a fertility awareness method, learning fertility awareness

It’s officially February–how are your health goals for the new year looking?

Maybe one of your health goals for the year included taking charge of your health through fertility awareness charting. At first, it might be fun to meet with your fertility awareness instructor, learn all of the fascinating information they have to offer, and download a new app to use. You feel empowered. You feel motivated. You are excited for what the future holds for you. But then you forget to chart one day. Or you travel, and you’re out of your routine. Or it just starts to feel inconvenient and a burden–and if you’re in a relationship and have never had to practice abstinence before, some of the “rules” of your method can feel downright draconian. How do you push through those challenges and stay resolute in the health goals you made for yourself for the new year? Whether it is charting, getting to the bottom of a cycle issue (including infertility), getting pregnant, or any other health goal, the following are four simple strategies to help you honor yourself and the goal you made.

Make it easier on your brain to accept change by removing hurdles to success

The tricky thing about making any new goal a habit, especially ones that don’t offer instant gratification, is removing any potential hurdles that could impede your progress. Our bodies and brains like consistency, so any time you try to break out of your usual pattern, even if it’s for something objectively good for you, your brain can be resistant. This means that any hurdle, no matter how small, can make your brain resist you every step of the way. So, remove the hurdles! 

For example, if you are learning a new method and it’s hard to remember to chart each day, “removing hurdles” could look like setting an alarm on your phone to help you remember to chart at the same time each day. Likewise, putting your charting materials out where you will see them, and picking the method of charting (e.g. paper chart versus app) that feels the most intuitive and user-friendly for you, are both good examples of removing any roadblocks to goal (and habit-forming) success. By removing as many hurdles as you can, you are giving your brain a chance to build a new pattern of behavior, and to learn that this change isn’t so bad after all. Your goal is to make this change as easy as possible for you, for your body, and for your brain.

Choose the marathon mindset: small changes add up over time!

One phrase my psychotherapy clients are accustomed to hearing from me is, “It’s a marathon, not a sprint,” when they share their frustration that change isn’t happening as quickly as they’d like. If you approach your goal as a sprint, you will be frustrated when drastic change isn’t immediate. It’s frustrating to go all-out only to see only small changes and feel too burned out to continue. Taking a marathon approach, however, frees you from the pressure of producing overnight results and helps you to take a more mindful approach to achieving your goal. 

Let’s say, for example, your goal is to eat more nutrient-rich foods to address issues in your cycle–or to heal from the nutrient deprivation or gut damage sustained from using hormonal birth control. Instead of taking the sprint approach and clearing out your pantry and fridge, filling it with nutrient-rich foods only to feel overwhelmed at what or when or how to cook them, you could consider taking the marathon approach: Focus on incorporating one new food a week, or trying one new recipe a week, and gradually increasing how much nutrient-rich food you incorporate into your diet. Just like the story of the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady wins the race.

Atomic Habits author and good habit formation expert James Clear is a big fan of this approach–so much so that he advocates for focusing on getting just “1% better” each day. Those seemingly small, daily (or weekly, or monthly) changes add up over time! 

Remember your “why” for setting your health goal

When you start to feel discouraged, it can be helpful to remember your “why,” i.e., what was the reason for choosing this goal? Why is it important to you? Aligning yourself with the purpose behind the goal you set can help motivate you to push through those times when honoring your commitment feels like too much work. 

For example, did you resolve to get to the bottom of your fertility or menstrual cycle issues by gathering the right comprehensive care team? Searching for the right doctor to help you diagnose whatever is affecting your cycle might be discouraging and frustrating at times–especially if you feel that, at every turn, you aren’t being listened to. You may be tempted to give up the search and “just learn to live with it” or settle for a treatment or band-aid solution that you aren’t happy with. Instead, it can be helpful to remind yourself that you have chosen to prioritize your health, and that you believe there is a solution for what you are experiencing. If your “why” is powerful enough (for example, improving your fertility so you can conceive one day), you will find a way to push through the frustration and discouragement–and you will be glad that you did!

Seek out fellow travelers who can help support you in achieving your health goals

In times of stress (and this can include struggling to keep working towards your goal), it can be tempting to isolate yourself, or to tell yourself that no one will understand how you are feeling. But the truth is, there is likely someone out there who does know what you’re feeling, or someone who can at least empathize with your experience. According to research, reaching out to your trusted support network can actually be a stress reliever, and is known as the “tend and befriend” stress response. One fascinating note: this response is more common in females than in males. Our friends can support us through the challenges and tough moments, and can offer words of comfort, encouragement, and motivation. If you’re struggling through a charting issue, don’t be afraid to reach out to your instructor for more support, or even consider joining a fertility awareness method forum or support group—yes, those exist!

If you are struggling to implement a new fertility charting habit, sifting through the pain and confusion of a cycle issue like PCOS or endometriosis, or trudging through the darkness of infertility, reach out to your trusted friends to commiserate about the challenges. Perhaps they have an answer or an approach that could be of value to you–but even if they are struggling in the same way, having fellow travelers can be incredibly heartening (especially if you have chosen something as countercultural as fertility awareness or restorative reproductive medical care). 

No matter the goals you’ve set for yourself this year, remember that meaningful change does not happen overnight. But if you can remember these strategies for sticking to your goals when the going gets tough, you’ll be amazed to see where you’ll be a year from now.

Additional Reading:

The Benefits of Charting for Your Mental Health

The Benefits of Embracing an Abundance Mindset with FAM

3 Simple Nutrition Tips that Will Improve Your Reproductive Health

What is a Fertility Awareness Method, and how do you start charting with FAMs?

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