Let’s be honest, no one really loves going to the doctor. Most of us try to go only when necessary, and usually after googling our symptoms in an attempt to self-diagnose. The trouble is, this usually results in the internet telling you that you have a terminal illness, which only ramps up your worry and anxiety instead of providing you with empowering information (don’t worry, we’ve all been there).
While it may seem easier to avoid the hassle of going to the doctor in the short term, it might be worth the hassle and more helpful in the long run to schedule that appointment. Being proactive about your health (both mental and physical) is an important part of an effective self-care plan.
Why you need a good relationship with your doctor
One of the primary benefits of building a positive relationship with your doctor is that they will get to know you better and will recognize any notable changes more easily. A provider with whom you have a good rapport will not only be open to your feedback but also very willing to refer you to a specialist or another provider for something outside their area of expertise. Many of my psychotherapy clients have shared with me both how reassuring it is to have a doctor that they can trust and ask literally anything, as well as how frustrating and disempowering it is to have a provider who dismisses their symptoms and tells them that “it’s all in your head.” It can feel intimidating to bring up symptoms to begin with, and having a positive relationship with your provider can help ease any fears or hesitations you might have about bringing up what you are experiencing.
Once you’ve built up a positive relationship with your primary care provider, they can help connect you to other specialists to help you build up your care team. For example, in my work as a psychotherapist, I may refer my client to a psychiatrist for a medication evaluation, a psychologist for a psychological assessment, a medical doctor to rule out another cause for their symptoms, a treatment center for more intensive care, or even another therapist who specializes in an area in which I don’t. The point is, each provider has a particular area in which they specialize, and while each may not have all the answers for you, you can find comprehensive answers with a team of providers. So don’t be afraid to ask for a referral to a specialist or ask for a second opinion if something doesn’t feel right to you.
A comprehensive care team can include a primary care provider (PCP), a mental-health provider, and other specialists related to their unique needs. Women should also have a trusted Obstetrician/Gynecologist (OBGYN), and any specialists who can help her with her reproductive needs. For women trying to seek root causes of infertility or seek treatment for reproductive disorders such as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) or endometriosis, a full care team can include specialists in Restorative Reproductive Medicine and fertility awareness method-certified educators and practitioners.
Why you need to build a care team
I witnessed the importance of have a comprehensive care team a few years ago with one of my psychotherapist clients.* This client was referred to me because their primary care provider thought the physical symptoms they were experiencing could only be explained by an eating disorder. After conducting several sessions with this client, I couldn’t find any evidence of an eating disorder or really any other mental health issue besides the anxiety this client experienced because their physical symptoms made it nearly impossible to eat.
Fortunately, the client continued to push for seeing other medical specialists and, almost a year after our first appointment, the client called to update me and told me that a specialist had found the reason for their inability to keep food down, and that it required a simple surgery to repair. The client was able to eat again normally and was recovering well. Their provider had assumed that, because they couldn’t find the cause for the client’s symptoms, that it must have been a mental health issue when, in reality, there was an easily fixable physical explanation. My client proactively built themselves a care team that was ultimately able to find the solution they needed.
When having a care team could save your life
There was a similar case reported in the news earlier this year when a woman was misdiagnosed as having a hangover when she had actually experienced a stroke that was likely caused by the form of birth control she was taking. She woke up with migraine-like symptoms that persisted for days. When she called her general practitioner, she was told it was probably a hangover and was instructed to take painkillers. When the pain didn’t go away, she sought further treatment and was told she might have an ear infection, then generic pressure on her brain, and then finally had an MRI which found a blot clot in her brain. Doctors were then able to successfully treat the blot clot. It took going to a specialist for this young woman to secure the lifesaving treatment she needed.
Particularly when it comes to women’s health, it is important to have a care team assembled who can help you investigate any symptoms that arise and whom you can feel comfortable with asking all of your questions. Ask your primary care provider for their recommendations as well as trusted friends and family members. If someone has had a great experience with a provider, they will be happy to recommend them to you as well. Having your care team set up will give you the peace of mind that you already know who to call when you have a question, and you will be empowered to schedule an appointment instead of spending your time and energy searching the internet for a self-diagnosis.
*Identifying details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
Additional Reading:
Is your doctor not listening to you? What to do when you experience medical gaslighting
Why It’s Important to Trust Your Intuition When It Comes to Your Health
What to Do When Your Doctor Won’t Listen to You
Women “Have Not Felt Heard” In Their Search for Natural Alternatives to Birth Control
How A Blood Clot During Pregnancy Led Me to Fertility Awareness
