If you’ve spent any time on social media or have been exposed to advertising, you’ve probably been told to embrace the concept of “self-care.” You’re told that this means you should buy the latest skincare serum, treat yourself after a stressful day, do what feels good, and embrace “good vibes only.” Go get that manicure. Binge watch your favorite TV show. Order in. Burn your favorite candle.
You’re probably wondering what on earth “self-care” has in common with practicing fertility awareness, especially when you’ve experienced some of the challenges of practicing one of these methods. What does embracing a “good vibes only” lifestyle have in common with charting your fertility biomarkers on a daily basis, and even sometimes abstaining from something that feels good (i.e., sex)?
“Treating yourself” vs. Caring for yourself
If you are having trouble seeing how these things are related, you are right to be confused. Being disciplined about charting and having challenging conversations about your fertility don’t seem to fit with the “treat yourself” mentality that we’re told to accept as self-care. However, authentic self-care and fertility awareness have much more in common than you might think.
The confusion stems from the misconceptions about self-care that are perpetuated in advertising and on social media. The way that self-care is defined by popular media has more in common with being selfish or self-indulgent than it does with actually taking care of yourself on a holistic level. Authentic self-care is all about taking care of your physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual wellbeing.
What is authentic self-care, and what does it have to do with fertility awareness?
Sometimes, true self-care looks like incorporating more rest, leisure, and fun into your life. At other times, it looks more like incorporating an exercise routine, making a doctor’s appointment to get an answer on an issue you’ve noticed from charting, or actually going to bed on time instead of staying up too late. Authentic self-care is a discipline that at times requires being serious about rest, and at other times requires discipline about doing the things you need to do to take care of yourself; things that aren’t as fun or as easy as the things you may want to do.
Authentic self-care is all about identifying your individual needs when it comes to your own wellbeing. For some, that might mean practicing setting healthy boundaries around their time, energy, resources, and relationships. For others, it might be scheduling time for restorative leisure because they are overscheduled or experiencing burnout. Others might seek out professional help from a counselor or from a fertility awareness instructor. And this is where fertility awareness and authentic self-care join forces.
How fertility awareness can help you practice true self-care
Authentic self-care requires practicing self-awareness so that you can recognize what areas of your life need more support and attention, and what areas are your strengths. Fertility awareness also embraces practicing an awareness of your fertility biomarkers, so that you can make informed decisions about your fertility and your overall health. Both authentic self-care and fertility awareness methods promote self-awareness, and cultivate a sense of empowerment: you are empowered to take the (sometimes difficult) steps to invest in your own wellbeing.
Here are just a few of the ways fertility awareness can help you practice mindful, authentic self-care:
- Understanding variations in energy levels during the cycle, and planning activities, work, and exercise around them
- Planning intercourse and preparing for times of abstinence
- Detecting irregularities in your cycle that need medical attention
- Knowing when to expect your periods, and being able to plan activities accordingly
- Knowing when stress is too high and how it can impact when you will ovulate
- Understanding and appreciating your natural hormonal balance (free of exogenous hormones)
- Having a more harmonious relationship with your significant other, with better communication
This means that true self-care and fertility awareness are far from selfish pursuits. In fact, they are powerful tools to help us take charge of our health on all levels, including our reproductive health, emotional health, mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. Charting can help you recognize any potential hormone fluctuations that may be contributing to changes in your mental and emotional health (anxiety and depression symptoms, for example). Charting can also help you recognize any changes in your cycle that might point to the effects of stress, or that may point to reasons why you have been experiencing symptoms such as tiredness, low energy, etc.
Fertility awareness empowers you through charting to recognize what’s typical for you, and to recognize what’s different, and what might require a closer look or more attention. And when you are empowered to address any changes in your overall wellbeing, you are practicing authentic self-care. Most importantly, taking care of your wellbeing in this way honors your dignity and worth as a human being. It isn’t always easy or fun, but it is important and worth the effort.
Additional Reading:
How to Practice Self-Care Throughout Your Cycle
What Does Birth Control Have to Do with Self-Care?
The Powerful Link Between Fertility Awareness and Mental Health
