Odds are, you probably know someone who has struggled with infertility, even if she’s never really opened up to you about it. Maybe you yourself have gone through painful years of trying to conceive, whether it’s due to a painful chronic reproductive disease like endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), or you’ve received the frustrating diagnosis of “unexplained infertility.” While experiencing the rollercoaster of emotions that accompanies infertility, it may be difficult to look into all of the available options of reproductive technologies. Here are some testimonials from others who have struggled with these reproductive issues, which I hope will guide you in your approach and decision-making when it comes to treating infertility.
The things all IVF stories seem to have in common
We all know that when a woman struggles to conceive, mainstream medicine usually recommends IVF. But behind the smiling families on IVF websites and brochures, there are often stories of heartbreak. In an article in Self, titled “What I Wish I’d Known Before Getting IVF,” seven women share their experiences and give thoughtful reflections about the regrets and wishes they had after undergoing IVF. While many (though certainly not all) of the testimonies have happy endings, the process was not easy for any of these women. In fact, these stories demonstrate that even when the IVF process ends with the birth of a baby, the anxieties, heartbreaks, and sheer amount of money spent to get to that point are clearly not an insignificant part of any woman’s IVF journey.
The article notably features the story of one woman who did not have any luck with IVF, which ultimately led her to forgo any more fertility treatments in favor of adoption. After four years of failed treatments including five IUIs, six rounds of IVF, and two miscarriages, Teena says: “I wish I’d known from the start how happy I would be as an adoptive mom. I adopted my son after my treatments failed, and I now have the most amazing 8-year-old boy.”
What makes Restorative Reproductive Medicine (RRM) different from IVF: NEO Fertility
Some women try IVF at first but go on to find more success with Restorative Reproductive Medicine (RRM). With RRM, you improve more than just your chances of conceiving, you improve your reproductive health, which has positive implications for the rest of your body, too. And with RRM, you actually treat the underlying causes that are preventing you from getting pregnant in the first place. Endometriosis and PCOS are some of the most common root causes of infertility; IVF will try to work around these issues, while RRM will seek to treat them, so that you can become pregnant naturally, while also resolving the mom’s health issue. Furthermore, couples who use RRM do not have to grapple with the agonizing decision of what to do with the “extra” embryos that often result from rounds of IVF.
One woman who tried IVF before turning to RRM is Niamh, who tried three rounds of IVF with no success before she and her husband turned to Neo Fertility. Neo is a RRM clinic in Dublin, Ireland, which serves committed couples attempting to conceive. In her testimonial for NEO Fertility, Niamh cited that prior to her treatment with NEO (which even included an egg donation from a 24-year-old woman), she had no luck with artificial methods. Here are some reasons Niamh wishes she and her husband had prioritized an RRM approach sooner:
- A low Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) does not necessarily mean poor quality eggs. (AMH predicts ovarian response in IVF and also helps indicate a woman’s overall remaining egg supply. However, conditions such as PCOS can affect these levels, and an AMH reading alone can be misleading about fertility. Read more here.)
- All you need is one good egg to get pregnant! Overstimulation, which can occur with the drugs used in IVF cycles in order to get a woman’s ovaries to release multiple eggs for fertilization, doesn’t suit everyone—and, in extreme cases, can result in the potentially serious condition known as Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome.
- Every woman is different and we don’t necessarily fit into the perfect 28-day cycle. RRM doctors are keenly aware of this fact, as they use a woman’s fertility awareness charts in diagnosing and treating reproductive issues.
- Hormone levels differ month to month (and throughout the month), therefore one-off blood tests can’t tell the whole story of your health and fertility accurately
- We could’ve saved ourselves in excess of €30k (approximately 38 thousand USD) if we first went to Neo Fertility.
You can read more success stories from the NEO Fertility clinic here.
NEO Fertility is just one form of RRM that specializes in treating PCOS, endometriosis, hormonal imbalances, and more, in order to better a woman’s health and fertility. NaProTechnology is another.
What makes RRM different from IVF: NaProTechnology
Regina found success through NaProTechnology intervention before and during her marriage to Diego.
Through charting her cycles with the Creighton Model FertilityCare System, Regina and her instructor discovered she had irregular cycles. Her Creighton instructor referred her to a NaProTechnology-specialized doctor, who diagnosed Regina with PCOS, and who also did exploratory surgery to confirm and treat endometriosis.
After treatment, Regina’s menstrual irregularities improved, and after she and Diego married, they had no difficulties in planning and achieving pregnancies. Regina believes knowing what is going on in her body has led her to a happier and closer relationship with Diego. Charting her cycles and undergoing treatment for PCOS and endometriosis also likely prevented Regina (and Diego) from enduring the heartbreak of infertility and miscarriage, which can both be extremely hard on a marriage.
Contrast Regina and Diego’s experience with the experience of many couples who have felt that the stress of IVF has driven a wedge between them; in fact, one study found that women whose infertility treatment failed were three times more likely to leave their partners than women who did have a child after treatment. (Consider, too, that charting one’s cycles through a method of natural family planning is correlated with high relationship quality and satisfaction, while birth control may have adverse effects on relationships and mutual attraction.) Also, some FAM users have found relationship enrichment and improved fertility outcomes with therapeutic interventions such as Organic Conceptions.
It’s important to remember while reading all of these stories that people who seek out fertility treatments, whether ART or restorative reproductive medicine, all desperately want children in their lives to love, and usually want to grow closer as a couple as they build a family together. These hopes remain common no matter which method a couple chooses. But RRM will work with a couple’s fertility in ways that respect their dignity and improve their overall health—and possibly their relationship, too. Before you make your decision about infertility treatment, I would recommend reading more testimonials with your spouse, both personal IVF stories and stories about lesser-known methods like NEO Fertility, NaProTechnology, and other forms of Restorative Reproductive Medicine. Doing so can help you make an informed decision about how you will move forward with building your family together.
Additional Reading:
The Affordable, Effective Alternative to IVF No One Talks About
The Dark Side of the IVF Industry, From a Survivor
The hidden costs of IVF: heartbreak, health risks, and helplessness
3 Reproductive-Health Issues NaProTechnology Solves Better Than the Alternatives
