Part 2 of a Natural Womanhood series on teen sex.
In part I of our teens and sex series, I explained why teens have less sex now than in decades past. Now that we grasp the extent of the problem, what can we do? With destructive technologies taking the place of destructive casual sex, how exactly can Gen-Z improve their mental health and achieve success as they move into adulthood? The answer lies in the culture: we must discourage both teen sex and technology overuse, and instead urge teens to spend their middle and high school years focused on creating deep and meaningful friendships with their peers.
Why should we encourage teen sexual abstinence?
The questions of why and how we should encourage adolescents to remain abstinent are discussed at length in an article by researchers Abbott, White, and Felix for the International Journal of Sociology of the Family [2]. In their article “Not Ready for Sex”, they posit that underage sex is both detrimental to the development of the teen brain and that it increases risk of depression and suicidal ideation. Remaining sexually abstinent, they argue, also brings about the practical benefit of avoiding sexually transmitted infections (STI or STDs) and pregnancies out of wedlock. Avoidance of both STIs and teen pregnancy helps put teens on the path to success.
The Success Sequence sets teens up for long-term financial and personal success
The bricks on this path to success make up the Success Sequence, a formula aimed at helping youth reach financial and personal success. The American Enterprise Institute (AEI) discusses this sequence, explaining that it includes just three simple steps: get at least a high school diploma, work full time, and get married before you start having children. They report that an astonishing 97% of Millennials who followed this formula are not poor as adults. This remains true for black Americans, Hispanics, people who grew up in lower-income families, and people who grew up in non-intact families. All of these groups still reported above 94% success rates in staying out of poverty. A majority of them even achieved middle- or higher-income status.
Following the Success Sequence of graduation, job, marriage, and then parenthood doesn’t just grant a person financial freedom, however. It sets young people up to experience a happier and more fulfilling adulthood. A young person who waits to have sex until marriage not only avoids the mental health pitfalls that come with sexuality in youth, although that certainly is a boon! He or she also ensures that any child who might be conceived as a result of their choice to have sex will be born into a loving, intact household. Children born to married parents reach higher levels of academic, personal, and financial success by countless metrics all the way into adulthood. When young people follow this sequence, the positive effects radiate downward to the next generation as well.
How do we get Gen Z on board with the Success Sequence?
Encouraging Gen-Z to take the Success Sequence path is not an easy job. The authors of “Not Ready for Sex” state that “there is no magic potion of quick inoculation to prevent adolescent premarital sex because there are so many sources of influence acting upon the teen. A combination of interventions from several ecological niches will, however, most effectively influence adolescent sexual abstinence” [2]. Sources of influence like parents, other family members, teachers, coaches, and religious leaders all need to point out to young people that one of the surest ways to flourish now and in the future is simply by avoiding sex until marriage. It’s not just about sex ed classes, it’s about making a “united and concerted effort” in “actively teach[ing] and model[ing] abstinence” [2] In other words, the culture (and everyone in it) must shift their attitudes when it comes to sex.
Parents, too, must take a more active role in explaining to their children the dignity of their bodies, and in contextualizing the experience of puberty for teens. When girls and boys are taught from a young age that their bodies are good, and that puberty is healthy and normal, and that their fertility is a gift to be safeguarded, it may lead them to make better choices surrounding their sexuality as they grow into young adults. (In fact, this is why we created Natural Womanhood’s Mothers of Pre Teens cycles and fertility online education course. More on that, here.)
Technology misuse and porn use hold teens back from success
Finally, since technology, particularly internet porn, decimates teen mental health, it’s important for parents and teachers of teenagers to limit technology use and block internet access to pornography to facilitate in-person real friendships with peers. The memories teens will hold dear once they reach adulthood will not be the times they spent scrolling on Instagram between classes. They’ll remember the genuine bonds they formed with the people around them. The best shot we have in helping Gen-Z to flourish in both their mental health and long term personal success is to encourage them to spend their teen years learning, growing, and striving toward healthy choices, like abstinence.
Missed part I, “Teens and sex: The kids aren’t alright; the connection between decreased teen sex and mental health”? Find it here.
References:
[1] Robb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense. [2] Abbott, Douglas A., et al. “Not ready for sex: An Endorsement for Adolescent Sexual Abstinence.” International Journal of Sociology of the Family, vol. 36, no. 2, 2010, pp. 159–79. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/23028827. Accessed 24 Oct. 2023.
