Growing up, my mom always made sure to teach me about how God made my body as a woman. From cycles to anatomy to moral theology, my mom was my first and best teacher. For this I am grateful. Without the foundation of truth that she exposed me to as a young girl, I may not have been as open to exploring various methods of cycle tracking and natural family planning (NFP, also known as fertility awareness methods or FAM), and my marriage may not have turned out to be the invaluable gift it has been in my life. Combining this foundation of truth with my interest in human anatomy and physiology set me on a trajectory I didn’t see coming— and I’m all the better for it.
When I started my studies at Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2011, I knew from the start that I wanted to pursue a career in nursing. “Maybe I’ll be a pediatric nurse or a labor and delivery nurse,” I thought. Although these are good and noble desires, God had something else planned for my life. I graduated in 2015, still planning to land a nursing job on some exciting unit in a hospital in Chicago. When I began my first job on the ambulatory surgery floor in a small hospital, I said to myself, “I’ll do this for a year or so, then I can switch to my dream job!”
After my third child, I thought my nursing career was over
As you might have guessed, I was on that ambulatory surgery floor longer than a year. I ended up staying for about five years. By the time I was pregnant with my third child, I was feeling worn-out and needed a break. My husband supported me in my decision to take a step back and focus on being a stay-at-home mom. At the time, I thought this was where my nursing career would end, at least for the time being.
I wanted to focus on my children and, admittedly, I was excited to leave the pressure of being a working-mom behind. After only about a year into my early “retirement,” I felt the nudge from God to get certified to teach the Marquette Method of NFP, which requires instructors to have a Bachelor’s degree in nursing or other advanced medical degree. I had been practicing Marquette in my own marriage for about two years at that time, and I felt like God was calling me to share my knowledge with other couples.
I began using NFP years before I became a Marquette Method instructor
Looking back on my journey with NFP, I can recognize a maturing and re-shaping that occurred over the first few years of my marriage. When I first heard the term Natural Family Planning as a high school student, I understood it to be for the sole purpose of avoiding or achieving pregnancy. I held that understanding for over a decade.
In the context of my own marriage, however, as my faith deepened and I began to learn more about women’s health and theology of the body (that is, the theology and philosophy of human sexuality and married love), I began to see NFP as more than just a means to space pregnancies. It became a tool that I could use to better understand how God made me and the kind of love He was calling me to live out in my marriage.
I originally learned another method of NFP
How did we land on Marquette as our NFP method of choice? We had learned a sympto-thermal method after the birth of our first, but it didn’t feel like a good fit for us. I was breastfeeding throughout the night, and this made my temperature recordings inaccurate (presenting in a saw-tooth pattern). It made that specific method feel stressful to me, so we switched to the Marquette Method, focusing more on hormones and less on temperature.
The flexibility of the Marquette Method took away the anxiety, and I became very confident in tracking my cycles. Because of this confidence, I started the process to become certified to teach the Marquette Method. As I began coaching couples in NFP, I also started to see how the method can be used to help discover hormonal issues as well as give clues about a woman’s overall health and wellness.
I’ve found that being a Marquette Method instructor goes beyond cycle chart checks
I founded Simply NFP at the end of 2021, and it has been a huge blessing in my life. In the beginning, I thought my NFP coaching would be simply that: teaching couples to track their cycles using the Marquette Method. I quickly found out that it would become so much more..
I began to see the serious need to provide ongoing support for couples who have chosen the path of NFP. Many of them grasped the truth about how harmful hormonal contraceptives were to their physical and spiritual health, but needed someone to come alongside them and help them navigate sexual ethics in an increasingly secular culture. I’ve made it my mission to be that support for couples, by affirming their decision to eschew contraception and encouraging them to stay on the path.
This is the most fulfilling part about my work
This has been the most fulfilling part of being an NFP instructor. I get the unique honor and privilege to walk with these couples and help them on the path. From chart-checks to chats about moral theology, I love being available to couples who need a little extra support and encouragement because let’s face it— we don’t have to do hard things alone!
Becoming a Marquette Method instructor has benefited my own marriage
The process of teaching and walking with couples as they navigate NFP and cycle tracking has deeply impacted my own marriage in all the best ways. My husband and I have been able to embrace NFP for what it is: a beautiful sacrifice that respects both of us by honoring God’s design for human sexuality. Although times of abstinence during my fertile window can be tough and frustrating, we have been able to communicate effectively, and it has made the times when we are able to be intimate that much better because of it.
I see why, even with its pain points, NFP/FAM is still preferable to using hormonal birth control
Being a Marquette instructor has also given me the gift of perspective. I have coached many couples who have stopped taking hormonal contraceptives (hormonal birth control, IUD, etc.) The stories I have heard about the side effects of artificial birth control as well as the moral implications involved are more of a testament to why hormonal birth control is just not worth it. Combine that with the ways that NFP can help lead to diagnosis and treatment of hormonal issues and cycle problems, and NFP is clearly the best choice. While periodic abstinence during times of fertility (for couples seeking to avoid pregnancy) can be difficult, my clients and I have found that it’s better than risky hormonal birth control, and overall, the positives of fertility awareness outweigh the negatives.
An open mind is the first, most important thing you need to start learning NFP/FAM
I encourage anyone who is on the fence about NFP to give it a try. If you approach it with an open mind, you will start to see how working together with your spouse through charting your cycle will bring you closer as a couple, and your marriage will reap the benefits. The ways that men and women give and receive love (even in the marital embrace) speak truth about how God made us and how He calls us to give and receive love in every aspect of our lives. Even just having the knowledge of your cycle health and having a natural way to avoid or achieve pregnancy are enough reasons to take the leap and learn a method. There are many resources available that can help you on your journey— you are not alone!
