Many parents are reluctant to introduce their daughters to the concept of their menstrual cycles. They’re worried that the information will be overwhelming (for themselves y their daughters!), that their daughters will be “grossed out” or fearful about periods and cervical mucus, or that they don’t have enough knowledge to be able to communicate with their daughters about this important topic. In other words, many parents think that it’s a discussion best left to “the experts”—to sex-ed teachers at school, or to women who are fertility awareness method (FAM) or natural family planning (NFP) teachers, like I am.
An argument against “passing the buck”
But school sex-ed programs often fall way short of the mark on the education that teens truly need and deserve about their bodies. And just because someone can effectively teach engaged couples a method of NFP doesn’t mean that they’re the right person to teach your daughter about her maturing body. In fact, as a Fertility Awareness instructor myself, you would think that I would be super confident when it came to introducing my own daughter to the brilliance of her female body—but think again!
School sex-ed programs often fall way short of the mark on the education that teens truly need and deserve about their bodies. And just because someone can effectively teach engaged couples a method of NFP doesn’t mean that they’re the right person to teach your daughter about her maturing body.
While I have the “head knowledge” down pat, I also know that there’s much more to welcoming young women into their mature femininity than giving them merely facts. Yes, I want my daughters to have anatomically appropriate language, to understand the whys and hows of their menstrual flow, and to recognize their moco cervical (aka, their “white flow”) as a sign of health.
But I also want more.
And this is exactly why parents—when properly equipped—are the best people to educate their daughters about their cycles, and to be the ones to give their daughters the gift of body literacy. Let me explain.
Wanting more for my daughters
In thinking about educating my four daughters about their bodies, I realized that, fundamentally, I wanted them to know that their bodies are Bien. I wanted them to experience wonder and awe at the cycles that will be playing the melody in the background of their young adulthood and beyond. To know that their cycles are an integral part of how they were created, critical to their overall health and well-being, and truly their “quinto signo vital."
As their mom, I also knew that I wanted to be able to help them use their cycle charts to determine whether any underlying health issues could be at play if they began experiencing painful cycles or other symptoms. I wanted to be able to help them track whether their periods were gaining a semblance of regularity over the first year or two of cycling (which is the norm for newly cycling pre-teens and teens!)—so that they wouldn’t be taken in by the false idea that periods are immediately regular, and encouraged to take birth control como resultado.
More than anything, I wanted my daughters to know that no topic was off limits—that they could come to me with any questions that they might have about their bodies—and that I would answer them as openly and honestly as possible.
More than anything, I wanted my daughters to know that no topic was off limits—that they could come to me with any questions that they might have about their bodies—and that I would answer them as openly and honestly as possible.
How I wanted the experience of puberty to be different for my daughters
From my own experience with puberty and adolescence, I knew that the affective experiences of becoming new women matter more than just learning the sheer facts of female anatomy and physiology. My mother, who charted her own cycle, prepared me well intellectually for maturity. When my own first period arrived, we reviewed a diagram of the female anatomy together to help me better visualize what was happening within my own body.
But what I remember most—what stays with me, even now—is my mom’s obvious discomfort when she began to broach the subject of sperm meeting egg. The discussion ended there promptly in a manner that made me feel as if I had done something wrong (not at all my mother’s intention, I’m sure!). But, like it does for muchos parents who attempt to broach these subjects with their children without preparation, panic set in for my mom the moment certain topics related to sex and reproduction made themselves apparent.
In other words, I knew from my own experience the outsized impact a parent has on how their daughters think and feel about these topics. I was determined, therefore, to be prepared with an age-appropriate approach to this conversation, and—above all—to be attentive to the timbre, tone, and emotional quality within which I would step into these experiences with my own daughters. My hope is (and always will be!) that my daughters will embrace their mature female bodies as good through the impact of my own confidence, joy and excitement.
My hope is (and always will be!) that my daughters will embrace their mature female bodies as good through the impact of my own confidence, joy and excitement.
An intellectual disability adds another layer to the conversation around body literacy
For my oldest daughter, her intellectual disability (ID) has added a whole other dimension to our conversations about how to help her transition through puberty and beyond.
It’s been noted that women with ID are prescribed the Depo-Provera birth control shot at significantly higher rates than the general population (yes, the same birth control shot that’s currently being linked to brain tumors in major lawsuits across the United States), and that these women often experience a staggering lack of autonomy around contraceptive decisions—with many being strongly encouraged or forced to go on birth control, even if they aren’t sexually active [1].
Likewise, women with ID undergo permanent sterilization in the form of (non medically-indicated) tubal ligations and hysterectomies at higher rates than the general population. In fact, in one study, women with ID were found to be 1.5 times as likely to undergo tubal ligation, and 2.5 times as likely to have a hysterectomy compared to peers with normal abilities—and they tend to undergo these at a much younger age: the average age of hysterectomy for women with ID being just 27 years old [2].
Knowing the realities of the world in which we live, and being aware of my oldest daughter’s unique needs, have made it all the more pressing to foster her transition into womanhood in a way that is respectful, empowering, and positive.
This is precisely where my personal experience intersects with Natural Womanhood’s body literacy program, Period Genius.
Knowing the realities of the world in which we live, and being aware of my oldest daughter’s unique needs, have made it all the more pressing to foster her transition into womanhood in a way that is respectful, empowering, and positive. This is precisely where my personal experience intersects with Natural Womanhood’s body literacy program, Period Genius.
How Natural Womanhood’s Period Genius program delivered what I needed for my oldest daughter to aprender about her cycle
Because of her intellectual disability, my beautiful oldest daughter needs learning to be broken down into small, digestible chunks. With its ten short modules, Period Genius delivered concepts in “just-right” doses for my daughter.
My daughter likewise needs learning to be engaging and pictorial. As a professionally produced video series, Period Genius gave my daughter the visuals she needed for the learning to make sense.
My oldest daughter is also slow to talk about her own experiences, but the discussion questions after each Period Genius learning module opened up conversations I do not believe we would have had otherwise.
How Period Genius delivered what I wanted for my oldest daughter to feel positively about her cycle
And what about all those desires I had for how I wanted my daughter to siente about her maturing female body? While ultimately her feelings are outside of my control, Period Genius helped us prepare the environment around my daughter so that when her first bleed arrived, the experience was welcomed with positivity and excitement.
While ultimately her feelings are outside of my control, Period Genius helped us prepare the environment around my daughter so that when her first bleed arrived, the experience was welcomed with positivity and excitement.
(If you want to hear more about my experience of preparing my special needs daughter for puberty, check out my interview on Hormone Genius podcast right here.)
All young women deserve to be welcomed into their “natural womanhood”
If you’re a parent of a preteen or teen daughter who’s showing signs of puberty—or who’s already had her first period—I’m betting that much of this sounds familiar or resonates with you.
After all, even though she’s neuro-atypical, my daughter’s needs are likely not that different from other girls her age. And as your daughter’s parent, eres the one who’s best equipped to understand how, when, and with what attitude this important education and the ensuing conversations need to happen for her to receive and engage with them in a positive, open manner. And the best time to begin having these conversations is well before her first period, so she’s prepared—and you are, too (although it’s certainly never too late to open up the lines of communication if your daughter is already cycling).
According to one report, nearly half of girls have no idea what’s happening when their first period begins. For these girls, their periods are cloaked in fear and shame—something no loving parent wants for their child. And the good news is that it’s something that’s entirely avoidable with positive, age-appropriate, respectful period education, like that in Period Genius.
According to one report, nearly half of girls have no idea what’s happening when their first period begins. For these girls, their periods are cloaked in fear and shame—something no loving parent wants for their child. And the good news is that it’s something that’s entirely avoidable with positive, age-appropriate, respectful period education, like that in Period Genius.
Want to learn more about Period Genius?
If you’re interested in learning more about the Period Genius program for your daughter(s), I encourage you to pulse aquí.
And if you want to play a role in setting the stage for young women in your community to embrace and celebrate their natural womanhood, please consider the impact you can make by partnering with Natural Womanhood through a Period Genius Group License.
Have questions? Let’s chat! Email Period Genius creator Jackie Aguilar (jackie@naturalwomanhood.org) to schedule a time today!
