When I had my first period, at the age of twelve, I was given two things: a pad that felt like a diaper and a talk that consisted of these few words: “do not let boys touch you there.” That was my “welcome” into womanhood. There were no further discussions, books, or doctor visits.
Heavy bleeding and an emergency hysterectomy: My mother’s story
Most of what I learned about periods came from observing my mother. For years, I watched her endure сильное кровотечение and painful cramps. She would bleed so much that she started using a towel to help contain the blood. Her doctor prescribed the Pill, nothing else. My mother always refused to take it. Instead, she would request a prescription for pain medication to help alleviate her cramps. She never received any additional tests or care.
One day, she woke up and knew something was terribly wrong. She was pale and trembling. The bleeding was not only severe; it would not stop. I looked at her and said: “Mom, enough is enough! You must go see another doctor today!” My mother scrambled to find one. Through some miracle, she was able to see a gynecologist who was also a surgeon. When he examined her, he feared the worst: cancer. A few days later, she underwent an emergency гистерэктомия in her early forties. There was no cancer present, but фиброиды had taken over her entire uterus. Little did I know that I would experience a similar fate.
Prescribed the Pill for a breakup
In my mid-twenties, I started seeing my mom’s doctor. I only saw her twice. The second time I went for an annual check up during which she never examined me. She did, however, prescribe the Pill. Her reasoning was that it would help me with my “depression.” Yes, I had recently gone through a breakup, but I had never even mentioned experiencing depression. I was confused. What “depression” was she referring to? I took the prescription and left her office. I never filled it and I never went back. In fact, it would take me an entire decade to go back to another doctor.
I took the prescription and left her office. I never filled it and I never went back. In fact, it would take me an entire decade to go back to another doctor.
Before long, I was in my early thirties and still had never had so much as a мазок. But I had met this great guy, now my husband, and I wanted to make sure that I would be able to get pregnant. I found a wonderful doctor who worked in the same building as I did. Unlike my previous doctor, she examined me and was very proactive in taking a comprehensive approach to my health. She ordered some tests and blood work. It turned out I had some concerning gynecologic issues. I was sent to a specialist and received the care I needed. I felt safe in my new doctor’s care. I visited her on an annual basis and I was under the impression that everything was fine.
My introduction to Fertility Awareness Methods
When my husband and I got engaged, I finally became aware of Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) for the very first time. (Want a brief introduction for yourself? See here.) No one had told me about them before–not my mother, my friends, or even my doctor. My then fiancé told me we should sign up for a class so we could chart my cycles. At that point, I didn’t have a clue what that meant!
We attended an introductory session of the Метод овуляции Биллингса, which helps a woman track her phases of fertility and infertility through the observation of cervical mucus. During that session, I sat still on my chair and was quiet as a mouse. It felt as if I was being told this ancient secret only a few women were told.
On the drive back, I was silent. Don’t get me wrong! I was genuinely excited to start this new journey. For the first time, I knew how my own body functioned. As excited as I was, thoughts of confusion and anger were circling my mind. It was astounding that I was in my mid-thirties and only now learning about this. Why was I never told of these methods?
On the drive back, I was silent. Don’t get me wrong! I was genuinely excited to start this new journey. For the first time, I knew how my own body functioned. As excited as I was, thoughts of confusion and anger were circling my mind. It was astounding that I was in my mid-thirties and only now learning about this. Why was I never told of these methods?
When I told my doctor, she admitted not knowing much about FAMs. She only applauded me for agreeing with my partner on a way of planning our family. She did, however, caution me that these “methods” were not very reliable and rarely worked. She still respected my decision and never pushed the Pill, which I appreciated.
Charting was a pathway to reproductive health
Charting was more challenging than I had anticipated. Still, as I progressed, it was interesting to see how my menstrual cycle unfolded from day to day. Here I was thinking I had these perfect cycles. Turns out, they were a mess.
As my charting journey continued, I could not help but think of my mother. Had she known about FAMs, she may not have had to endure such a difficult fertility journey. It pained me to think these methods could have helped her get the care she needed, instead of just being dismissed or offered the Pill.
Just like my mother, I had to be faced with tragedy before being taken seriously. In 2013, we suffered a miscarriage. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced. By then, we had moved, so I was new in town and scrambled to find a doctor. When my miscarriage was confirmed, I was told: “Honey, it’s okay! This means you can get pregnant!” I stood there in those gowns that never close properly and just stared at the doctor. I knew I deserved better.
When my miscarriage was confirmed, I was told: “Honey, it’s okay! This means you can get pregnant!” I stood there in those gowns that never close properly and just stared at the doctor. I knew I deserved better.
Being thirty-five and having experienced a pregnancy loss, I knew that I wouldn’t find the solutions I was searching for within mainstream medicine. I wanted a new FAM that would help me find out why we miscarried, and why we were struggling to get pregnant. This is when we switched over to the Модель Крейтона (Creighton). Unlike Billings, Creighton has restorative reproductive medicine (RRM) protocols, known as NaProTechnology (NaPro). Using information from your charts, NaPro doctors set up a plan of action that includes a series of well-timed blood work and other diagnostic tests to help evaluate, diagnose, and treat many fertility issues.
As overwhelming as it was to learn two different FAMs, it was also empowering. With the knowledge gained through my extensive FAM education, I was able to predict when my next period would start, instead of guessing about it. I also learned my hormones were not optimal and I started taking биоидентичный прогестерон. With guidance from my NaPro doctor, I went on a targeted diet and supplement regime that helped me feel healthier, inside and out. For the first time, I felt somewhat in charge of my fertility. I didn’t see charting as a burden; it was a way of life. In many ways, FAM (and with it, RRM) was a pathway to true reproductive health.
Extensive endometriosis and infertility: The heartbreaking results of a lack of timely care
Unfortunately, by this time, the years of not being treated optimally had taken their toll on my body. After having done all that we could, including хирургия эндометриоза, my fertility journey ended. It was discovered during my surgery that, unbeknownst to me, I had Stage IV эндометриоз, which I had probably had since at least my early twenties. I was lucky to be able to keep my uterus, but the damage from the disease was too extensive. I was 41, and accepted that I would never achieve another pregnancy.
Looking back, I can only say this: I am disheartened by the lack of proper medical care both my mother and I received. Maybe the end result would have been the same: her hysterectomy and my infertility. Still, I will always be left wondering whether the outcome we experienced would have been the same had we been properly informed and known about FAMs. It’s not like these methods (and their RRM protocols) didn’t exist. But mainstream medicine doesn’t know or speak about them. And this is a terrible way of taking care of women’s reproductive health.
Looking back, I can only say this: I am disheartened by the lack of proper medical care both my mother and I received. Maybe the end result would have been the same: her hysterectomy and my infertility. Still, I will always be left wondering whether the outcome we experienced would have been the same had we been properly informed and known about FAMs and RRM.
Unheard and unseen is how I felt back then. All of this could likely have been prevented had I just been taken seriously earlier in life. Why was the Pill offered to me without substantive reasons? Why was I never even examined properly? Why didn’t I ask more questions? Sometimes, these questions still swirl in my head.
Helping other women get the education and care I was denied
Alas, these experiences are now in the past. Eventually, I realized that all I could do was move forward and learn from my experience–and help others do the same. In fact, these experiences are what propelled me to get trained as a Creighton Practitioner. For five years, I met with hundreds of young women and couples, and helped them get their fertility back on track. I was there for all of them: whether it was the woman getting off the Pill, the woman scared of getting off the Pill, the couple trying to avoid pregnancy, the couple trying to conceive, or the couple facing infertility or experiencing miscarriages… Through it all, I was dedicated to teaching women about their menstrual cycles, how to read the signs of their bodies, and how to advocate for themselves in their reproductive care, so no one would go through what my mother and I went through.
My experience is not unique. Many other women have had to go through several doctors before finding the one who would listen. Many were given the Pill, only to find out that the root cause of their issues could have been managed with proper, safer, restorative reproductive care–the care that women truly deserve. While I know I am not the last woman to whom this will happen, I will continue sharing my experience in the hopes that it will inspire others to learn how to read the signs of their cycle, and to seek out doctors who can, too.
