{"id":21297,"date":"2024-08-31T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-08-31T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/?p=21297"},"modified":"2024-08-27T13:28:30","modified_gmt":"2024-08-27T18:28:30","slug":"les-enfants-de-hannah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/fr\/hannahs-children\/","title":{"rendered":"\"La chose la plus utile au monde\". Catherine Pakaluk, auteur de Hannah's Children, \u00e0 propos de son livre et de son propre parcours de sensibilisation \u00e0 la fertilit\u00e9."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

With increasing<\/a> frequency and from various<\/a> sources, we hear and read that American women are having fewer children, mirroring childbearing trends seen across the world. In 1960, the average American woman had 3.5 children, according to the CDC. As of 2000, she had 2.0, already below the 2.1 \u201creplacement level\u201d a society needs to offset the deaths of older members. But by 2020, the average woman had just 1.64 children. The economic and social consequences of this already-upon-us \u201cdemographic winter\u201d have yet to be truly felt, which may be why our government has not made any attempts to raise the total fertility rate (births\/woman\u2019s lifetime) as our European counterparts<\/a> have (unsuccessfully) done. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even as the vast majority of U.S. women have fewer and fewer children, another statistic has remained virtually unchanged<\/em> since 1990: 5 percent<\/em>. That\u2019s the estimated number of women aged 40-44 who have five or more children. In her book, Hannah\u2019s Children: The Women Quietly Defying the Birth Dearth<\/a><\/em>, Catholic University of America economist and mother of eight Catherine Ruth Pakaluk (and her assistant researchers) interviewed dozens of these women who are bucking the societal trend of 1.64 births\/woman. Far from being a dry, academic expos\u00e9, Hannah\u2019s Children<\/em> is a deeply personal look into the lives of these ordinary-yet extraordinary women. It\u2019s a book about \u201cthe reasons [these women] wanted kids and the reasons they kept wanting them;\u201d their \u201creasons of the heart\u201d (Pakaluk, 9).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here at Natural Womanhood, we often write about how effective fertility awareness methods or natural family planning can be for women and couples seeking to avoid<\/em> pregnancy. But we also know that many of our readers have utilized fertility awareness or NFP to achieve<\/em> pregnancy. At a minimum, fertility awareness leads to an appreciation for our fertility, and countless of our readers have found that this appreciation expands to value the natural fruit of that fertility: children. I spoke via Zoom to Pakaluk about her own experience with fertility awareness, what she wishes she had known about it in her twenties, and what led her to first become one of \u201cthe 5 percent\u201d herself\u2014and then to study her peers for Hannah’s Children<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her own upbringing prepared her to have a large family<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pakaluk herself was the oldest of 9 children, and \u201cmy mom loved having a large family and talked about it a lot.\u201d While Pakaluk doesn\u2019t specifically recall her mom using the term \u201cnatural family planning\u201d or \u201cNFP,\u201d she does remember the 500-page NFP textbook \u201cThe Art of Natural Family Planning<\/em><\/a>\u201d written by John and Sheila Kippley sitting on the family bookshelf. Pakaluk shared that her mother was the daughter of an Iowa family with farming roots and an avid supporter of breastfeeding to space pregnancies. She observed, \u201cI think it appealed to her that as a young, Catholic woman starting out her family, she was going to work with the natural rhythms of her body.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pakaluk noted, \u201cThat was the environment I grew up in. When I got married, I didn\u2019t have any reason to not think [having a large family] was lovely. As a kid I really loved having a lot of siblings and as the oldest I loved when the babies came home.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Natural family planning held little appeal for her at first<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Married at age 23, Pakaluk remembered that her local parish offered a natural family planning class for engaged couples, but she was uninterested at the time. \u201cI remember my church offering a course in natural family planning, but I remember thinking \u2018well, we want to have kids, so maybe we\u2019ll look that up when we don\u2019t want to have kids anymore.\u2019\u201d NFP seemed \u201ctechnical\u201d and she thought \u201cI don\u2019t want to start charting it all out right now, we\u2019re just in love and want to get married. When I need it, I\u2019ll find out about it.\u201d Now, Pakaluk says, \u201cI think everybody should track cycles early\u2026 but I would definitely say that I think part of my resistance to learning NFP methods when I was early in my marriage was that it sounded technical and unromantic.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I think everybody should track cycles early\u2026 but I would definitely say that I think part of my resistance to learning NFP methods when I was early in my marriage was that it sounded technical and unromantic.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

At the beginning of their marriage, she and her husband wondered whether they should wait to have children<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When they got married, some might have said Pakaluk and her husband already \u201chad their hands full.\u201d Pakaluk said, \u201cMy husband was a widower, so we had 6 kids at home, and we were a little apprehensive, like \u2018will it be good or healthy for everybody to have a new [little] one?\u2019 We thought that was a big question to answer and we thought \u2018well, children are usually good.\u2019 And some people said \u2018maybe you should wait\u2019 and we thought \u2018we\u2019ll give it a couple months and we\u2019ll see what happens and how the kids are. And if we haven\u2019t conceived by then, we\u2019ll take that as God\u2019s sign.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still, the Pakaluks hoped \u201cthat we would be able to accept blessings from God soon\u201d and indeed \u201cWe got pregnant right away, on our honeymoon. We thought that was great.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pakaluk spoke candidly, \u201cAnd that really informed a lot of my thinking about kids later. After [my son] was born, he was such a source of healing and bonding for this grieving family that it really changed my sense of the kind of prudence we should apply to having children. Of course, I still think we should be prudent, people should be prudent, and that every family is different, but it was a very palpable experience of the way a baby can bring joy and healing in circumstances that might otherwise look challenging.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pakaluk and her husband welcomed eight children together<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo [my first] was born and then we really just didn\u2019t think we needed to space [pregnancies] after that, once you see that your baby is absolutely the best thing for these grieving children and for your wholeness as a new family.\u201d Pakaluk\u2019s next children came 18 months, 24 months, and 26 months after their respective preceding siblings without any kind of intentional spacing beyond breastfeeding. Throughout that time, \u201cWe were never in a position where we felt we had to wait or space. I think that was about that way through the 5th.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By the time Pakaluk conceived her 5th and 6th children, she was in her mid-30s and had experienced several miscarriages. It was then she started tracking her fertility with basal body temperature (BBT) readings, inputted into an app called Fertility Friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once she started charting her cycle, Pakaluk found it was different from what she\u2019d feared<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pakaluk smiled, saying, \u201cRemember those Kippley books that I had lying around [growing up]? I had this idea that you were recording amounts of mucus every day and that just sounded terrible to me! I don\u2019t want to do that. It just sounds yucky.\u201d In her case, tracking her basal body temperature (BBT), starting in her mid- to late-30s, was enough to gauge her fertility effectively. \u201cFor what I needed to do, I didn\u2019t need to pinpoint things that carefully. Just my temperature was highly revealing of what was going on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s more, she found, as is normal, that her fertility had already begun to decline by her mid- to late-30s. \u201cBy the time I was tracking, I wasn\u2019t really that fertile [anymore]\u2026 I found it a lot harder to conceive\u2026 [so] by the time I felt the need to space my pregnancies, I wasn\u2019t actually that fertile. But at that time, I learned that tracking my temperature was enough. And that wasn\u2019t so hard and that wasn\u2019t gross.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What she wishes she\u2019d known when she was younger<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Asked what she wishes her younger self knew, Pakaluk responded by telling me what she wants her 18-year-old daughter to know: \u201cI think she should track and get a sense of her temperature and her [body\u2019s hormonal] rhythms even if she\u2019s not planning to have babies soon, because I think part of my own resistance was ignorance of how easy it would be to track\u2026 I would have liked to have known that it\u2019s easier than I thought.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Especially with newer methods of NFP like the Marquette Method that use urinary hormones, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to measure your mucus strings and ask \u2018Is it an inch? Is it two inches?\u2019 That could be off-putting.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of the women Pakaluk studied, some used fertility awareness, while others used birth control or did not intentionally space their pregnancies<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In the women she studied for Hannah\u2019s Children<\/em>, Pakaluk found a range of ways couples used to plan (or not) their family size, ranging from utilizing fertility awareness to hormonal birth control to no method at all. She summarized, \u201cThey did not all reject contraception, but they all rejected a kind of mentality that goes with it, like an overly planned parenthood. I don\u2019t know what that means, except to say that they all had different reasons for believing that their fertility was one of the greatest gifts they had.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She went on, \u201cAnd so though they resorted to different ways of spacing their children, they were all eager to welcome as many as they could. They viewed their contraceptive means as unfortunate things you had to do when you weren\u2019t able to accept the next child, not like great tools as sources of \u2018I can really be liberated.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cycle charting tells you about your whole-body health as a woman<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This truly hits home the need for better information for couples\u2013even those so radically open to children as the women profiled in Hannah\u2019s Children<\/em>\u2013about fertility awareness methods. Women deserve to know that there are ways to space children that will respect their fertility and health\u2013in truth, who they are as women.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For Pakaluk, cycle charting puts a woman in touch with her core, her true self. Nowadays, \u201cWe don\u2019t know what it is to be a woman [even though] we talk about body positivity and acceptance of our bodies.\u201d From fertility awareness or NFP, \u201c You learn deeply that to be a woman, your [physical] maturity, your health as a woman is inseparable from this capacity to receive and bear life… Healthfulness for women is also correlated with when our systems are going right, our endocrine system, our digestive system, and we know gut health is so key.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She continued, \u201cA lot of times when something is misfiring, the first symptom is that our fertility is off-the-rails. So actually it\u2019s a great diagnostic in a sense, and [the fact] that it is<\/em> a great diagnostic teaches us something really deeply about what we are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA lot of times when something is misfiring, the first symptom is that our fertility is off-the-rails. So actually it\u2019s a great diagnostic in a sense, and [the fact] that it is<\/em> a great diagnostic teaches us something really deeply about what we are.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

She continued, \u201cWe start to see \u2018oh, that\u2019s so cool, so interesting.\u2019 Like when my tummy feels good and my digestion is working and my body is being nourished by what I\u2019m eating, I\u2019m also able to have babies, like whoa! Wait! Wow! And when my tummy doesn\u2019t feel good and my digestion is bad and I\u2019m maybe eating bad things, I\u2019m putting on weight, I\u2019m not in good shape. All those things, which are just symptoms of modern society, all those things affect fertility. So that\u2019s what I\u2019d tell my daughter.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hannah’s Children <\/em>interviewees: The capacity to bear life is fundamental to our womanhood<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pakaluk summed up, \u201cI do think so much of modern life eats away at the natural pride a woman can take in her capacity to bear life. She\u2019s like a vessel. It\u2019s almost like there\u2019s no word for that because it\u2019s an internal thing. The world measures external achievements and this is different, an internal capacity. So you can\u2019t flaunt it or show it off.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through Hannah\u2019s Children<\/em>, Pakaluk hopes she can translate the motivations of women whose pride in their capacity to bear life is evidenced by their large families. She had the average reader in mind, who views having more than one or two children as almost incomprehensible in this day and age. She opined, \u201cYou can\u2019t want something that isn\u2019t understandable. You can\u2019t love what you don\u2019t know, and I don\u2019t think you can desire things that aren\u2019t lovable, in some sense. But if you can figure out how to put words or witness on the kinds of things that your heart knows or feels or is convicted of, you can lay that out and someone says \u2018oh, well every time I see 3 or 4 kids, I see that same attitude of the heart.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In words that will doubtless ring true to many Natural Womanhood readers\u2019 experience, Hannah\u2019s Children <\/em>included Pakaluk\u2019s own story of openness to and desire for a large family. She wrote, \u201cI suppose it boils down to some sort of deeply held thing, possibly from childhood\u2014a platinum conviction\u2014that the capacity to receive children, to receive them into my arms, to take them home, to dwell with them in love, to sacrifice for them as they grow, and to delight in them as the Lord delights in us, that that thing, call it motherhood, call it childbearing, that that thing is the most worthwhile thing in the world\u2014 the most perfect thing I am capable of doing\u201d (Pakaluk, 6). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I suppose it boils down to some sort of deeply held thing… that the capacity to receive children… call it motherhood, call it childbearing… is the most worthwhile thing in the world\u2014 the most perfect thing I am capable of doing.”<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Fertility awareness can better serve both the 5 percent and <\/em>the 95 percent<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

No matter the size of a woman\u2019s family, fertility awareness methods<\/a> or NFP offer a way for her to respect her body\u2019s natural hormonal rhythms, monitor her own health, and\u2014if desired\u2014space pregnancies. Certainly, for some women and couples the pregnancy prevention effectiveness without hormonal side effects will remain a top priority. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But just as certainly, for others, the built-in respect for the female body and the couple\u2019s relationship, plus the understanding that the capacity to bear new life (to be \u201ca vessel,\u201d as Pakaluk would say) is a tremendous gift<\/a>, may lead to an originally-unanticipated openness to a larger family. For some, use of fertility awareness prompts a desire to join the \u201c5 percent\u201d of women with five or more children highlighted in Hannah’s Children<\/em>. Whereas conventional birth control boxes a couple in and is only useful to get one outcome (no pregnancy), fertility awareness methods can better accommodate (and even facilitate<\/a>) relationship growth, shifting priorities, and other \u201creasons of the heart.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"La sensibilisation \u00e0 la fertilit\u00e9 peut mieux servir les 5 % et les 95 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