{"id":1782,"date":"2017-06-11T17:25:44","date_gmt":"2017-06-11T21:25:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/natural-womanhood.local\/?p=1782"},"modified":"2024-04-03T14:04:27","modified_gmt":"2024-04-03T19:04:27","slug":"10-facons-dont-la-connaissance-de-la-fertilite-ameliore-votre-vie-amoureuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/fr\/10-ways-fertility-awareness-improves-your-love-life\/","title":{"rendered":"10 fa\u00e7ons dont la connaissance de la fertilit\u00e9 am\u00e9liore votre vie amoureuse"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I first tell young couples that Fertility Awareness Methods (NFP) improve sex and relationships, I sense a subtle skepticism in the room. \u201cWait, you\u2019re saying that we have to abstain from sex 8 days a month? How is that going to make our relationship better?\u201d But at the end of the talk, they say the strongest argument for fertility awareness is when they hear the testimony of couples who have been practicing a method for several years and watch them interact: they can see the peace, the complicity, the passion they display. So what\u2019s the difference and how does it play out?<\/p>\n

Fertility Awareness Methods teach women to recognize the signs of their natural cycle so they will know when they are fertile and not fertile, usually, a 6-day window per monthly cycle. With that information, they can work with their partner to avoid or to achieve pregnancy effectively.<\/p>\n

What studies say about Fertility Awareness\u00a0and relationships<\/h3>\n

While more research needs to be done, several studies strongly suggest that Fertility Awareness Methods often improve couples\u2019 relationships.<\/p>\n

A study[i]<\/a> co-authored by the Couple to Couple League and published this year in the journal Frontiers in Public Health<\/em> was conducted online with 2,560 respondents who were using the Sympto-Thermal Method, referred to as NFP (natural family planning) in the report. \u00a0These couples lived in several countries in Western Europe and in the US. \u00a0The\u00a0abstract of the study<\/a>\u00a0reported that “95% of women and 55% of men said using NFP has helped them to know their body better. Large majorities of men (74%) and women (64%) felt NFP helped to improve their relationship while less than 10% felt use of NFP had harmed their relationship. Most women (53%) and men (63%) felt using NFP improved their sex life while 32% of women and 24% of men felt it was unchanged from before they used NFP. 75% of women and 73% of men said they are either ‘satisfied’ or ‘very satisfied’ with their frequency of sexual intercourse.”<\/p>\n

In a 2004 study published by the Journal of Nursing Scholarship<\/em>, designed to gauge the effect of natural family planning on marital relationships, asked married couples practicing these methods a series of open-ended questions to. \u201cOf the 2,287 coded comments, 1,765 (74%) were positive,\u201d indicating that the majority of those practicing natural methods of family planning believed it had had a positive influence on their marriage[ii]<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The ways Fertility Awareness improves your relationship<\/h3>\n

The article from the Journal of Nursing Scholarship<\/em> mentioned above reviewed the key reasons why people reported that Fertility Awareness Methods improved their relationship. \u00a0It is in great part the source of the content below along with other research.<\/p>\n

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  1. You know yourself and become a better you<\/strong>: most psychologist will tell you that good relationships with others start with a good relationship with yourself. As we have written here<\/a> and here<\/a>, it\u2019s more difficult to be oneself on the pill, and instead the practice of charting allows women to know themselves better and gain self-confidence. We even found that \u201ccycle mindfulness<\/a>\u201d helped teen girls become less influenced by peers and better able to plan their life: they became more mature and self\u2013directed, they moved \u201cfrom being victims of their hormones to being in control,\u201d were more able to think ahead and to make decisions ahead of crisis.<\/li>\n
  2. Your partner knows you better<\/strong>: when you practice FAM, your man gets to know where you are in your cycle: post-period and not ovulating yet, getting close to ovulation, past ovulation. Each phase usually corresponds to different levels of energy for you: medium, higher energy, lower energy. A considerate man can then pay attention to these phases to adjust his expectations of how much activity the couple can tackle and the needs for rest.<\/li>\n
  3. You have better, deeper communication<\/strong>: here is the test of your communication level right now: how often do you talk about your sex life as a couple? If you can talk about sex with one another you can talk about anything. Discussing sexual intercourse, fertility and starting or adding to a family are integral to using FAM successfully. Couples who use FAMs become more open to talking about difficult topics and they are more in touch with each other\u2019s feelings.<\/li>\n
  4. You show each other love in different ways<\/strong>: users of FAMs are often led to understand their love relationship in a broader way: how can I love this person better rather than \u201cwhat I am getting out of this?\u201d It shows especially during the time of abstinence, as they are both challenged to go back to \u201cdating time,\u201d when they found creative ways to show love for each other in a non-sexual way.<\/li>\n
  5. You have a deeper relationship<\/strong>: for all the reasons above, FAMs creates a stronger bond including feeling less selfish and more sensitive to the spouse\/partner\u2019s needs, feeling greater love and more understanding of one another.<\/li>\n
  6. You have a better libido<\/strong>: the suppression of women\u2019s libido by hormonal contraceptives is fairly common. You can have sex anytime when you\u2019re on the pill, but many women report feeling emotionally flat and less interested in sex. Science shows that hormonal contraceptives affect the level of testosterone<\/a> in women, which is the hormone responsible for sexual desire and arousal in women. While the woman\u2019s drive to have sex is usually highest during the abstinence time (welcome to man\u2019s world, which feels like that all or most of the time!), her enjoyment of sex can be just as high after ovulation. It all depends on your attitude.<\/li>\n
  7. You enjoy monthly honeymoons<\/strong>: the couple intending to avoid pregnancy has to wait to avoid sex during the fertile time. This is called periodic abstinence. Couples report that the time of waiting enhances their anticipation, thus increasing their enjoyment. As we mentioned above, that \u201cdating period\u201d also prepares them for the time they can have intercourse, which becomes the sequel of their romantic love, not simply a response to a personal physical need.<\/li>\n
  8. You have greater respect for one another<\/strong>: because of the need for closer dialog about when sex happens, women report feeling more respected and less used by their spouse\/partner. In turn, they also feel a greater respect for and pride in him for his ability to abstain and his self-control.<\/li>\n
  9. You experience gender equality:<\/strong> if a couple is avoiding pregnancy, they both have to know what days they\u2019re taking a break from sex, and what day they can \u2014 happily \u2014 get back to it. It is no longer only the woman\u2019s responsibility to avoid pregnancy. As a man, I think this is very important and value the idea that the choice to become pregnant or not is something that is the fruit of a partnership. It is too easy to forget about that crucial dimension of the relationship when relying on the pill. Not with FAMs.<\/li>\n
  10. You are better prepared for life\u2019s unpredictable twists<\/strong>: because of all the reasons listed above, couples are much better equipped to deal with serious incidents in their life. Friends of ours had the misfortune of losing a child, which very often leads to a separation or serious relationship difficulties. In their case, they reported that the relationship grew closer and they believed they were there for one another in a way they wouldn\u2019t have been otherwise.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    How Fertility Awareness changes your life as a couple<\/h3>\n

    Practicing Fertility Awareness Methods is not just using another method of birth control. It\u2019s a shift in the way a couple thinks of their sex life. All of a sudden, there is a rhythm to it, not \u201cjust whenever you want\u201d (which is often when the man wants: the pill makes the woman always available for sex, which is unnatural for her). It is crucial that couples who decide to use FAM as a way to avoid pregnancy are aware of that change, and have a frank discussion of what they\u2019re committing to. In the end, they will most often find it was worth it, but the change may take some work and getting used it if they had a different approach before. Realistically, couples are already abstinent most of the time, as on average, they only have intercourse less than twice a week. However, a good understanding of expectations makes for a happy partnership. Go into it with eyes wide open.<\/p>\n

    If you\u2019d like to hear from couples about their experience, watch this video<\/a> or our film<\/a> with your partner and discuss it together. Here are some of the questions you can ask yourself:<\/p>\n