{"id":14633,"date":"2022-04-13T08:31:22","date_gmt":"2022-04-13T13:31:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/?p=14633"},"modified":"2025-01-23T10:09:23","modified_gmt":"2025-01-23T16:09:23","slug":"como-cambia-la-vida-sexual-despues-de-dejar-los-anticonceptivos-a-partir-de-la-fam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/es\/how-sex-life-changes-after-getting-off-birth-control-starting-fam\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00bfCambiar\u00e1 el sexo despu\u00e9s de dejar la p\u00edldora? La respuesta sincera de alguien que ha pasado por lo mismo"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

One of the things people worry about when getting off of the Pill and starting a Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) is whether their sex life will change. Can they (or their partner) adjust from sexual intimacy on demand, to the changing patterns of fertility where they have to make decisions based on their family planning goals? Will all the fun go out of sex if it’s sometimes scheduled and not always spontaneous? And just how<\/em> long is the fertile window??<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is true that using a FAM involves a unique discipline, unlike popping a pill or getting an IUD placed. Rather than turning fertility in the synthetically-induced, default \u201coff\u201d position, FAM requires daily observations (albeit quick and intuitive ones), and then making choices about intimacy around these observations. Will your sex life change? Probably<\/em>. But is that a bad thing? Not necessarily!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How many days do you have to go without sex when using a FAM?<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s get it out of the way and address the elephant in the room: Just how long is the fertile window<\/a>, aka, the amount of time you can expect to go without sex if you\u2019re trying to avoid getting pregnant while using a FAM? In a woman who is cycling regularly with normal biomarkers<\/a>, we\u2019re looking at 10 days per cycle on average<\/em>. Could be longer. Could be shorter. (But not by much\u2026maybe 7 would be the shortest.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I\u2019m teaching women and couples about fertility awareness, I talk about the potential <\/em>fertile window and the actual <\/em>fertile window. The former is done in real time, prospectively, while the latter is determined retrospectively. When we are charting during a month, we can only know today\u2019s observations and everything that happened before them. This is our potential fertility. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking back after the end of every cycle, however, there were actually <\/em>only 6 days, at most, that conception could have occurred from intercourse. (In optimal conditions, sperm can live up to 5 days and the egg lives for 12-24 hours.) But of course it is only in hindsight that we can see these 6 days. So adding in a \u201ccushion\u201d of a few days on both ends of that window to account for days of potential fertility (including the possibility of double ovulation) pushes the window to closer to 10 days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, your sex life will change with a FAM\u2013but not necessarily in a bad way<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So yes, using a FAM for family planning is a little different from using the Pill, because you have to think about these 10 days (on average) and decide how you want to handle them. On the Pill, one expects constant infertility; with a FAM, your fertility ebbs and flows\u2013albeit in predictable patterns you can closely monitor in a way that will soon become second nature to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is also worth mentioning that women may experience higher libido during their fertile window\u2013and that can be, well, difficult <\/em>when you\u2019re TTA<\/a> (that\u2019s \u201ctrying to abstain\u201d in FAM lingo). While this is often a criticism of using a Fertility Awareness Method, I like to point out that the Pill notoriously stamps out libido<\/a> indefinitely throughout the month, so what good is the infertility from the Pill if you don\u2019t want to have sex<\/a>\u2013or worse, if the effects of the Pill are making sex painful<\/a>? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a FAM instructor, I encourage people to use the fertile window in a myriad of ways<\/a>. Libido doesn\u2019t have to be the bane of those 10 days, you can use it to your advantage! There is also a second wave of estrogen halfway through the luteal phase<\/a> that can come with a surge in libido. Personally, after I got off the Pill myself<\/a>, I found my libido was higher overall throughout the month\u2013not just around ovulation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another common\u2013shall we say, helpful<\/em>\u2013 \u201cside effect\u201d of sex without artificial hormones is better lubrication and quicker arousal. It is well known that hormonal contraception affects epithelial development of the cervix and therefore the crypts that create cervical fluid<\/a> (as well as arousal fluid) [1]. The cervix responds much better to arousal without the interference of hormonal contraception. A naturally cycling woman is also more likely to respond to sensory input of smell and even sound<\/a> of their partner [2]. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that all of these factors combine to make sex, well, sexier<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cScheduling\u201d sex can be fun\u2013yes, really!<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I find that the men in a partnership are usually the ones with misgivings about this new form of family planning, although women, too, can feel similarly. Going from sex anytime to having to plan it? Will we have to schedule it on the G-cal around soccer drop off and grocery delivery? It doesn\u2019t sound sexy at first glance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While every couple\u2019s experience is unique, many report that sex becomes better after switching to a FAM<\/a>. It\u2019s classic psychology. When something is not available, you want it. It\u2019s like Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday. And sometimes, scheduling sex can be fun. And there\u2019s still plenty of room for spontaneity, too. Plus, FAMs can be a great tool for building intimacy; they open the doors for communication about the most important issues faced by those in intimate relationships, and they give men, in particular, a clearer window into their wives\u2019 physical and emotional wellbeing. But, like any tool, a FAM has to be used correctly. And if pre-existing relationship issues<\/a> already lingered below the surface for a couple, taking up FAM isn\u2019t necessarily going to fix those issues for them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Personally, I have found after 12 years of FAM use, I can\u2019t imagine a world without the patterns of fertility in my relationship. If sex was available all the time, it might not feel as special. In other words, sex isn\u2019t just another option on the menu of activities every evening. So, during times of tricky charting\u2013like while breastfeeding<\/a>\u2013FAM gives us a motivation to seek out that special kind of intimacy on days when we are definitely infertile. I also think the act of charting intercourse helps keep us accountable. We have a literal log. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

FAMs provide meaningful choice <\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Another really special part about using a FAM is the power of choice. As a couple, you get to decide what level of \u201crisk\u201d you are comfortable with each cycle when it comes to your desire to avoid a potential pregnancy. When my husband and I have had seasons where avoiding pregnancy wasn\u2019t our highest priority, that 10-day window suddenly became a lot shorter; in other words, we might decide to ignore those \u201ccushion\u201d days on either end of the fertile window that we discussed above, knowing full-well that we\u2019re increasing our chances of getting pregnant that cycle. (By the way, what I\u2019ve just described is called \u201cTTW\u201d in FAM-speak, or \u201ctrying to\u2026 whatever!\u201d<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You simply can\u2019t have that kind of experience on hormonal contraception\u2013you\u2019re either taking it to knowingly prevent pregnancy, or you\u2019re not. (In other words, TTW just doesn\u2019t exist!) And again, FAM opens up space for important conversations, like where your heart is on expanding your family\u2013a conversation you might not think to have otherwise (or might put off until your birth control pills run out or your IUD expires).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, your sex life will probably look differently than it did on the Pill. But that\u2019s kind of the point<\/em>. With the right support and confidence in your charting, you can look forward to hopefully increased quality of intimacy, and you may just find that the quantity increases too, with a now \u201cforbidden\u201d window of time to contend with each cycle. Still have questions or concerns about getting off the Pill? All this month we are dropping videos and articles on this exact topic. So check out our landing page for more!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

References<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n[1]  Hwang LY, et al. \u201cFactors that influence the rate of epithelial maturation in the cervix in healthy young women.\u201d J Adolesc Health<\/em>. 2009 Feb;44(2):103-110. doi: 10.1016\/j.jadohealth.2008.10.006. PMID: 19167657; PMCID: PMC2662755.<\/p>\n\n\n\n[2] Derntl, Birgit et al. \u201cMenstrual cycle phase and duration of oral contraception intake affect olfactory perception.\u201d Chemical senses<\/em> vol. 38,1 (2013): 67-75. doi:10.1093\/chemse\/bjs084<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additional Reading:<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Just how long is the \u201cfertile window\u201d anyway?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to be intimate when you can\u2019t have sex: Advice for the fertile window<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to build intimacy when abstaining<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shocking reasons why birth control lowers women\u2019s sex drives<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sex is a party and my hormones ARE invited<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Una de las cosas que m\u00e1s preocupan a las personas que dejan de tomar la p\u00edldora...","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":14668,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","csco_singular_sidebar":"","csco_page_header_type":"","csco_page_load_nextpost":"","csco_post_video_location":[],"csco_post_video_url":"","csco_post_video_bg_start_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_end_time":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5183,5270],"tags":[4177,6298,5407],"class_list":{"0":"post-14633","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-birth-control-issues","8":"category-mental-health-and-libido-side-effects","9":"tag-fertile-window","10":"tag-health-benefits-of-fams","11":"tag-relationship-health-nfp-vs-birth-control","12":"cs-entry","13":"cs-video-wrap"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow your sex life will change after getting off the Pill - Natural Womanhood<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Your sex life will change when you get off hormonal birth control and start using fertility awareness\u2013but not necessarily for the worse!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/es\/como-cambia-la-vida-sexual-despues-de-dejar-los-anticonceptivos-a-partir-de-la-fam\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_MX\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Will sex change after getting off the Pill? 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