{"id":12451,"date":"2021-06-11T23:49:30","date_gmt":"2021-06-12T04:49:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/?p=12451"},"modified":"2024-05-23T16:47:54","modified_gmt":"2024-05-23T21:47:54","slug":"actividades-para-parejas-que-no-practican-sexo-durante-la-ventana-fertil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/naturalwomanhood.org\/es\/activities-for-couples-that-arent-sex-during-the-fertile-window\/","title":{"rendered":"C\u00f3mo intimar cuando no puedes tener relaciones sexuales: Consejos para la ventana f\u00e9rtil"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

One of the biggest differences about using a Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) compared to other types of family planning like birth control is that rather than impeding your fertility, you are simply working around it. That means if you are trying to avoid a pregnancy, about 10 days every month (more or less depending on your cycle<\/a>) you have a fertile window during which most fertility awareness methods instruct avoiding sexual intercourse. Since chance of pregnancy is high during the fertile window, having sex with barrier methods such as condoms can decrease the effectiveness rate<\/a> at pregnancy prevention. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if sex is off the table\u2026what\u2019s a couple to do during the fertile window? <\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As a fertility awareness educator, I talk with couples about this often. I have a joke that if you want to make a baby, plan a vacation when you expect to be infertile. The thing about FAM is your fertile window can land during times that range from coincidentally delightful to downright unfortunate. It\u2019s not uncommon for couples to experience the fertile window on their wedding night (a blessing in disguise frankly, as many are too exhausted from the day\u2019s activities!) or a long awaited honeymoon. Sometimes the infertile part of your cycle falls when your in-laws are supposed to stay with you for two weeks. And sometimes your period comes when you\u2019ve got that camping trip planned. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In short, using a Fertility Awareness Method means living with your cycle in all its beauty and occasional inconvenience. It\u2019s one of the reasons I don\u2019t even put FAMs in the same camp as other methods of birth control. It\u2019s like comparing apples to oranges. Natural family planning is an entire lifestyle shift. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many FAM-using couples tout that built into this lifestyle is a monthly honeymoon period after the monthly abstinence duringthe fertile window. There is truth to this, but it doesn\u2019t always<\/em> feel that way, especially when you are in the thick of a fertile window when women\u2019s libidos are naturally highest<\/a>. The good news is that there are other ways of connecting with your partner during the fertile window that don\u2019t necessarily include physical intimacy\u2014but that can still be a part of it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try dating again\u2026<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Remember your first date \u2026 before you knew each other that well? Remember when you still thought about what you were going to wear on the chance you\u2019d run into him? I still remember planning my outfits around my class schedule in case my boyfriend (now husband) might see me. (No? Just me?) It\u2019s likely that before you jumped into life together, you went on dates that included actual entertainment. A movie, a concert, a cheese and wine tasting, a clay potting class \u2026 you get the idea. Often as life gets busier with demands around the home, work, and kids (if they are in the picture), these dates become a bit more sparse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fertile window is a great time to dust off the good ol\u2019 date night. With sex not expected, you may find the pressure is off a bit and you can simply enjoy each others\u2019 company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also knowing intercourse is off the table can create some fun sexual tension that hasn\u2019t been there in a while. Therapist Esther Perel and Mary Alice Miller explain in \u201cMore Than Just A Warm Up: Rethinking Foreplay\u201d that \u201cforeplay is so much more than just the physical suggestion that kickstarts a sexual encounter. Foreplay is the energy that runs through an entire relationship…. [It] is the art of anticipation.” When you think about the fertile window as really long and extended non-physical foreplay, it doesn\u2019t have to feel so restricted. Flirting is a powerful way to nurture an intimate connection. Fertility Awareness Methods can be the perfect blend of planning and spontaneity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026or, tackle all of the non-dating activities<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If extended foreplay doesn\u2019t sound like something for you, you can go left instead of right. Rather than using the fertile window as a time to amass sexual energy, you can address all of the unsexy stuff. Evaluating the budget, finally getting around to organizing the tupperware drawer, decluttering that one closet that random stuff gets shoved in. Sometimes using this time as a check-in with your partner can be helpful. How are we? Are your needs being met? What do you need more of? What could you do with less of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my opinion, Netflix (and by Netflix I mean any streaming platform) gets a bad reputation. Bingeing on a show together can be a great way to connect, especially when sex is off the table. Make popcorn and some fizzy drinks. The most important part about any couple\u2019s activity is intentionality and being present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take an “intermission” during the fertile window<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The fertile window could also be a good time to spend a little time away from each other. As the old adage goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Get your ladies night in. He can play poker with the boys. Book yourself an evening massage. Catch up on that audio book while you soak in the tub. Every good partnership includes some time away from each other, and the fertile window can be a great time for this!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mix-n-match<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

On average, the fertile window is around 10 days. So, you can clean out your closet on Wednesday, plan a ladies\u2019 night on Thursday, and see a jazz concert on a Friday with your partner. None of these are mutually exclusive!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As time goes on, I have found that life and my relationship flows with my Fertility Awareness Method in a way I can\u2019t quite comprehend without it. It\u2019s nice to have boundaries around when and how connection can occur. As I have navigated different seasons of family planning needs, from TTA (trying to avoid), TTC (trying to conceive) and TTW (trying to\u2026whatever) during cycling years and postpartum cycles, I love that there is an ebb-and-flow throughout the seasons. I have had seasons where avoiding pregnancy was very critical. I\u2019ve had seasons where I can take more risks than others. We\u2019re always revisiting the question, \u201cIs avoiding a pregnancy this month important to us?\u201d For me, hormonal contraception, in contrast, puts family planning and intimacy into a one-note experience, when sex is always available and pregnancy is not really a consideration. In that world, TTW doesn\u2019t exist. What a shame!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when the infertile window falls during an inconvenient time\u2026.<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Necessity is the mother of invention\u2026.so when the fertile window finally ends and the infertile window seems to fall at the most inopportune time, this is a time for creativity, my friend! Talk about spontaneity and planning coming together at the same time. Look at this as an opportunity rather than a troublesome dead end. Sex doesn\u2019t have to be some uniform experience that only occurs in a vacuum of perfect timing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll never forget when I was leading a breastfeeding support group and a mom lamented that there was no time for intimacy when their baby ended up sleeping in the same room with them. Another mom quickly added that \u201cthe bedroom isn\u2019t the only place for sex.\u201d The room quickly filled with quiet and some uncomfortable giggles. But that mom was right. The bed isn\u2019t the only place. So it\u2019s a time to get creative when the long awaited infertile window falls when, say, your in-laws are crashing your place for two weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marrying spontaneity to planning<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Honestly, after spending ten years using FAM, I can\u2019t imagine it any other way. I think back to the brief years I spent on the Pill and think, \u201chow boring!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think what\u2019s great about using FAM is that it is the perfect blend of planning and spontaneity. You have the frame of your cycle times to guide you, but how you use those times can be in-the-moment. If avoiding pregnancy, fertile windows can be an opportunity to reconnect in non-physical ways, get things done, or take care of your mental and spiritual needs. When the infertile time comes, you get to use your sexual creativity in a different way. And how this plays out in your relationship is as unique as every couple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additional Reading:<\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Sex after Birth: How to Know if (and When) You\u2019re Ready<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What It\u2019s Like to Live Out NFP, Compared to What You Learn in the Textbook<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Build Intimacy When Abstaining<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Mindfulness Can Help Improve Communication and Charting Habits for Couples<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Unique Challenges of Practicing NFP as a Military Family<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Birth Control Messes Up Mutual Attraction<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are so many women experiencing painful sex?<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Una de las mayores diferencias del M\u00e9todo de Conocimiento de la Fertilidad (FAM) con respecto a otros tipos de...","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":12452,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","csco_singular_sidebar":"","csco_page_header_type":"","csco_page_load_nextpost":"","csco_post_video_location":[],"csco_post_video_url":"","csco_post_video_bg_start_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_end_time":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5282,5179],"tags":[58,5407],"class_list":{"0":"post-12451","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-avoiding-pregnancy","8":"category-fertility-awareness-methods","9":"tag-natural-family-planning","10":"tag-relationship-health-nfp-vs-birth-control","11":"cs-entry","12":"cs-video-wrap"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIn the fertile window and TTA? 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