FABMs and relationships
How the birth control pill messes up mutual attraction
I’m going to tell you a joke; stop me if you’ve heard it. What did the boy monkey say to his three favorite girl monkeys? Nothing; because his three favorite girl monkeys were injected with Depo-Provera. Okay, not much of a joke…I suppose it’s more of a cautionary tale. Keep reading for the true story. […]
10 ways fertility awareness improves your love life
When I first tell young couples that Fertility Awareness Based Methods improve sex and relationships, I sense a subtle skepticism in the room. “Wait, you’re saying that we have to abstain from sex 8 days a month? How is that going to make our relationship better?” But at the end of the talk, they say […]
How the Pill can cause divorce
I want to tell you the story of three couples. Each of them experienced a serious stress early in their marriage relationship because of contraceptives: Couple number 1: shortly after her first child, Mayra got on Depo-Provera, an injectable hormonal contraceptive. She began to have major mood changes. Any little annoyance would make her very […]
What “sex-ed” looks like in an NFP family
When parents openly use fertility awareness, children get a unique perspective on the body. My daughter sees fertility awareness in daily practice lived out. This means she sees me take my temperature every morning. She sees my menstrual products. It means by the time her hormones venture into puberty, the information (hopefully) will not be […]
When Men Resent Natural Family Planning
“I hate NFP. I hate it!” My friend, a 36-year-old man, sitting across from me at a popular Mexican eatery for a beer, is a tall, kind, and rather quiet type. A scientist, he is also a Catholic who wants to live the teachings of his faith about sexuality, which, if a couple would like […]
12 reasons men should choose natural birth control
Some children in the inner city context grow up never knowing anything else. So when they’re exposed to a country setting, the mountains, the beach, it may be exciting, but it can also be uncomfortable and even scary for them. They’d rather retreat back to the confined, polluted and unsafe environment they’re used to. But […]
Reproductive Respect: The Missing Part of the International Women’s Day Conversation
International Women’s Day was celebrated on March 8, applauding women’s achievements around the world and calling for accelerated gender parity. While these are definitely worth celebrating, sadly, many who campaign for gender equality have a blind spot when it comes to contraception, championing it as foundational in the fight for equal opportunities for women. Few […]
Is Natural Family Planning Unnatural For Relationships?
I love when I’m out in a social setting and the topic of birth control comes up. I jump at the opportunity to mention the lesser known, natural options of Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FABM) because I know it may be the only time someone ever hears about them. Reactions […]
One More Reason FABMs are Different From (And So Much Better Than) Birth Control
When I first got into charting my cycles with Fertility Awareness-Based Methods (FABM), I considered it a (fabulous and exciting) alternative to my birth-control pill. I may have even referred to charting as hormone-free birth control. Eight years later, I now cringe at that saying. I’ll admit, phrases like natural birth control do get the […]
Fertility Charting: What’s a Guy to Do?
The first time I saw his chart—yes, his—I giggled. My husband and I had a long-distance engagement; he lived in Washington, D.C., and I lived in Austin, Texas. We were learning how to chart my fertility via Skype with an instructor in Ohio. I had the official chart, stickers and all, and he had a […]